Friday, January 22, 2010

YEA IM HAPPY AGAIN!

haha yea im happy again!

thanks molly for listening to my grudges few weeks ago!
i guess i straightened out my thoughts when at op3. im going to just let things go naturally! tuition, part time work, data entry, learn jap? aiyah meant to happen will happen de la. not meant to happen, no matter how u force, it just wont happen. lol =)

sherwin cant go japan with us. aww nt fated =( i really wanted you to come with us. it was you who initiated the whole japan thing anw. oh well, nvm i dunwan u to be on bad terms with ur family either.

Met up with hefan, zz, nic, jason n sherwin for brunch today. suppose to find out how hefan is doing =) passed sherwin my bro's English assignments, my bro felt that he betrayed his alma mater! Sherwin is starting his first tuition today, arnot's gf! haha anw,we went to soup spoon, apparently, all of us except for zz, dun like what we ordered, haha too tomatoy for us! finished it nevertheless. headed off to esplanade library, felt abit too artsy... den to National Library. all the books made me dizzy. lol borrowed the book the associate by grisham, recommended by yongwei =)

just realize i still have Mario's chocolate(from Europe) for every1! haha accidentally mentioned it today den sherwin jealous! haha but i know as usual hes jus JOKING.... den he suddenly wan to charge us for planning our itinerary! haha

went to run today again, 2nd day in a row! haha 2 strangers(1 auntie, 1 uncle) smiled to me! what a wonderful world! lol

it feels good after helping people. just went to talk to my little cousin edmund =) helped him with science. i wan to M.A.D in other ppl's life! haha

i wan to tidy my jc stuffs, repaint n redecorate my room be CNY!

im eating alot again, but im running everyday! haha

anw zentai kareshi is really nice! haha its funny, innovative n touching! tears just kept rolling down while i was watching the last epi! thanks sherwin again! haha

lionel treating dinner tmr, yingta 21st bdae party, molly midnight running n supper. chose yingta. haha largely due to sherwin cos he says he wont go if i dont. haha oh well.

happy chinese new year!

JAPAN JAPAN JAPAN pls i really wan to go JAPAN!

17 days left...

Monday, January 11, 2010

blues

im feeling very blue. what have i achieved for the past 2 yrs? nth. maybe only thing to be proud of is just getting to sslc, n best trainee, even so i feel a bit paiseh saying that cos it didnt cost much effort. other than that, i dun think theres anything that is worth celebrating about. i gained a few gd friends, lost a few. doing duty at tower just made me think n reflect more than ever. i feel tired. i dun feel like going out. i dun feel like watching tv. i dun even feel like eating. i dun feel like doing anything i used to like to do.

fri paid 50 bucks mahjong debt. not feeling the pain. sat kbox - no feel. nvr sing much, thanks maurice anw, keep trying to cheer me up. night mario bdae dinner - not much mood to eat either. spent some bucks on his cake his present, well he treated us dinner, then i owe jiaqing 5 bucks for taxi suddenly? when was the last time we shared cab? i din even bother to recall or ask nvm. couldnt bother. after dinner wander around, to chinatown to zhizhang hse, in the end i still pangseh la when on the north east train. really no mood. i usually wont do this. haiz

not in mood for anything... even the japan trip! ...... canot canot...

every1 start to feel less enthu about the japan trip... but i still feel like going, i need to see something new, something different, something that is out of here.



now i look back my 2 years.

i have changed ba i guess. i used to be very obsessed with what other ppl say n think about me, want to be well liked by everyone, maybe i still am, but guess im less of that already. being a spec n the ic n a sect com, yea its inevitable i have to make some unpopular decision or do things that will cause misery in others and thats when ppl gossip behind u and do stuffs. well, as long as im doing the right thing. im trying very hard to care less. n i guess i have improved over the years.

sometimes i feel very tired, the role i play in many different cliques from sec to jc. i play de playful chatty gossipy character... but i just hate awkward situations, so i usually voluntary take up this role. Now this is the image i portrayed myself almost everywhere, in front of almost everyone. sometimes its really tiring to be always acting. i just want to be myself. but theres no reason for being emo in front of long time no see friends, they ask u wat happen, u cant say anything to them either. so its back to acting.

lucky i still have a few very close friends with me where i can be myself and vomit all my troubles at.

isit because im gonna ord? friends i made in ns... i can no longer be able to stay as close to them. i may have only gained a few gd friends that i think we might still stay in contact after many years. maybe. partly why m i feeling sad.

going to be jobless soon. without an aim. without purpose. worried. suddenly realise even after my tertiary education, its going to be jus work work save save work work n ... work. even worse, feeling hopeless for the future.

still single. every1 else around me is attached, even my brothers.

today's meeting with molly they all, suddenly realises that we are all growing up. talking about some joint tuition program where i shot in some advices n concerns mainly monetary. Then it spiraled out to be some heated never ending argument. lucky there was yongwei, pulled back n controlled the situation. Its not that i dunwan to be part of it, maybe im selfish, maybe i jus think the plan is flawed, maybe its both. but nevertheless i think its a good experience. Duno why, i already foresee this group of us quarreling over business or money in future. True no business gets profit the first few months. but this is just a minute sum of money, and no one is desperate for cash and its already happening, what will happen if its larger scale, if that money is very crucial for anyone?

so i think its best for me to just stay out n observe.

just mahjong again. one of my hobbies. totally no mood also. tmr my brothers will be taking their o level results. really hope they can do well. give me a reason to be joyful.

so alot of things contributed to the me feelign very down these few days. maybe its because of what ***y said that set me thinking. yea i think thats one of the reasons too. but lucky im nt in as bad of a situation as ***y. i hope i wont have to go there.

i hope this emo period will past soon. cos i dun like the emo me.

i need a new beginning.

29 days left.

Friday, January 8, 2010

tales of xiaopang - 3 cries

good thing his birthday landed on our dismount day. g song planned this surprise for his good pal mario n invited all of his good army friends to celebrate for him at his house. The last few moments before birthday ends we all sprang up on him. First cry. haha jiaqing was the catalyst, he said " see see mario want to cry liao want to cry liao" after that he hid in the blanket n cried ... hahaha

so g song made some fruit punch vodka n we talked about out good old times in cds. talk talk talk, reach zhi zhang point, TOGETHER with my birthday card, then it was the 2nd cry =)


be4 we left he was touched again. so 3rd cry. haha

indian poker blah blah drank more wine, the red berry wine taste great, the white wine... bleah >.<>

I feel kinda threatened, bare, but at the same time relieved. No one has ever talked to me RE this. panic. worried. desperate.Everything's a spot on. I really dunwan to end up there. quote " once u step in, its freaking hard to get out" nah i dun wan to go in, i dunwan to and theres no need to.
just wan a simple life



31 days left

Saturday, January 2, 2010

It's 2010!!!

Hmmm... experiencing Extreme boredom at the observation tower nw, so here it goes. I'm here to whine and reflect upon my life again!

Memory data extraction in progress...
17 - 24 dec. Duty in camp mounted Qrf. Was already Down with sore throat on thurs but it was worsened On sat after I drank the hot cocoa immediately after the run. So sherwin and I fell sick on Sunday, jx said we 2 idiotS deserved it...haha but I regained my health shortly after a few days, not so lucky for sherwin though, he was sick ever since then for more than a week. As usual, the week passed with lots of bridging, with my new bridge gang, sherwin, qinwei, enyeow, John! Haha n someone lost his last bridge game!!! Haha

something happened, unable to be blogged here, but it got me thinking..it was so impactful, the disappointment and anguish I felt caused my insomnia for a few days. Till the very last day, a deeper revelation finally dawned me. That being simply did it because it was selfish, pretentious, and pure evil who puts itself above everyone else! It shouldn't be sympathized in anyway cause what it was simply despicable N I truly despise you!

Xmas eve!!!
Had supper with qinwei Zz jx n lx at srgn, frog porridge, it was a rather sumptuous meal even though I skipped the frog for the promise I made for dad. Then it's

XMAS!!!
As usual our Xmas is celebrated at my spacious dagu house! But this yr was slightly special cos we had turkey n german trotters! Yumm yumm! Qiang n how brought their gf for the first time. Woah feeling the pressure already! Just making me more desperate! Haha Xmas gift exchange. N bingo haha FYI I won the 2nd prize. N then de musical chair, shameless Qiang n his gf, tagged team n won the first 2 prizes! Haha watch a few movies, sang k, playEd mahjong n de day ended well=}

BOXING DAY!
location: kallang leisure park
date:26-12-2009
time: 1400
party: Daniel, teetong, yingsiang, qiwen, Jessie, pohling, n me!

Tried ice skating for the first time! The skating ground was rather small, oh well proportional to our ctry. Throughout the 2 hrs session, it was just looping westlife songs. Kinda boring but at least it's very sing-along-songs, so it's not that bad afterAll. Haha we were all quotes phsyed up be4 going in saying who will be first to fall annnndddddd it's teeTong! Haha a reckless lill kid holding the support bar crashed right into him causing him to fall helplessly on his butt... It was so amusing! Haha but what really set me off to the hysterical laughter was qiwen! She couldn't control her laughter while looking at teetong's misfortune! Her face reddened, n non stop laughing till she had to bend to keep her balance! Haha so we all Started skating... Jessie can't break on her own, daniel says it's his last time here, n qiwen teaching Me the basics n some turns n guiding pohling simultaneously. Yingsiang can skate the fastest. Well time flies when you r enjoying, 2 hrs passed quickly for 17.50 I think is rather justifiable!

Headed to dohby there, walked for 15mins? To hunt for the famous rochor Tao hui n fried youtiao! Not exaggerating but it's the best youtiao j have eaten! Haha thanks pohling! Den it's another fun 2 hrs at mind's cafe with tt, Jessie, qiiwen n me! We played saboteur, ugly dolls? Taboo! Haha I am a good talker but a bad guesser haha so jessie kept rolling her eyes cos it's so simple n yet I duno! Haha but no worries there's alaways my good pal teetong to 'dian di'. Haha he sucks at all the board games! Lol still feel that he's not fully open yet, still abit shy! Haha we decided to walk down orchard to catch the last glimpse of the x'mas deco n lightings... So we chatted along the way, till we finally parted At ard 2200 reluctanty... Awwww another funfilled perfect day!

Subequently I caught 3 very gd movies for the following days. Sherlock holmes, promise of the sunflower, and Avatar! Will blog about them next time if I still rmb n if I still feel like it! Haha it's Wednesday alry! 1 more day to home! Op3 with nic Jason jerrell..... Interesting... HahA have to thank hanlin for his FRIENDS DVD, jx running here to visit, Romeo guys for the food =) mArio for accompanying for my whole wee hour duty, Jason qie for his Internet service, n of course Sherwin for many nights of phone to keep me awake on duty! I'm so exicited about the japan trip nw! Even though 2900 it's a bit ex haha!!! Wooh sakura wait for me!

33 days left... Woah so fast I din even realize!

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Song of the Sea

Ok recall recall what happened last 2 weeks.

mounting -

jx lost his iphone. we had our suspicion but still let down our guards, oh well.
doing duty with surewin, n i think we reached another level of friendship being SO honest with each other. lol talking about what is our weakness, what is the 'dian' that can anger us or can affect us. Felt erm not to insulted, but a little hurt when he said he felt like he was just a army friend where i used, for accompaniment during days in camp doing duty, den said but 'i dun mind, i dun mind being that'. supported with concrete egs. haha

And there I mentioned about him saying " i will go to the lib tmr with my more intellectual friend so that i can have more to talk with him" 2 weekends ago which he claimed he cant rmb n was just joking if he did say that. haha in the end our duty ended very fast n we didnt really conclude. but bottomline i think that session was rather fruitful n i think its rare nowadays to have a friend that u can be truthful to. =) so cheers! for u, sherwin. to our friendship!

thurs remove other side of wisdom tooth, this time more exp, less pain, less blood.=)

eating solid food by fri night... haha. sat was fun with ms seah n all, ate n pre xmas party at novena square haha! we were to shop for 4 xmas wishlist presents of others within an hour for $40 budget! rushed to sommerset 313 to see the uniqlo, rather disappointed i would say, like a japan ver. of giordano. like sg baleno in china like that. later at 7pm, headed off to meet tt, xinyi, jessie n qiwen at causeway point! haha even though its just a simple dinner fare, we had loads of fun chatting catching up n neoprints! my 2nd neoprint of my life! haha

sunday. - feng yun 2! fight fight fight comical, with alot actions those very cool effects, but storyline was so expected n disappointing. forgettable. u will jus rmb fight here fight in mountain fight beside forest fight at cliff fight everywhere. later at night haha crystal jade buffet at holland v with the ord ppl! molly, yuda, shiyi, lester, tt, ben chong. very delicious n worthwhile for 26 bucks for sunday night. strongly recommend u make reservations. we all end up 120% full due to molly's 15 'long' xiao long bao! woah i ate till my back feel strained like a pregny woman sat too long with a tummy!

monday - ah forgot wat happen - ah badminton with molly shawn n ben chong
tues - shopping at daiso with parents


wed ah tts today!


Hmph. today. My dad always liked the idea of whole family outing to random places. But my family is usually the exact opposite. my brothers and i were literally dragging our bodies to the train station with direct contrast to the enthusiast leading us. hes half an hour early, bathed, all psyched up to bring us to watch the 'music fountain' performance at sentosa.

GOT CAR WHY MUST TAKE TRAIN! zzz so the public transport idea further pissed me off. blah blah have a 8 bucks ba ku teh at food republic. then finally it came. 1940 show for Song of the Sea.

It started off with a pretty lame performance with the 4 famous local songs like di tanjong katong.... singapura oh singapura ... as usual, the skeptical crowd was just staring at the beach, totally not involved. my grandma was like staring into space faraway! haha

Just when i was thinking ... ah another waste money feat. it started surprising me, one after another. Even though its just a twenty minutes show, it did send several shivers down my spine. The water sprayed out form a water screen and thats where the laser light shone on it and created animated characters. As the real show starts, water jets out in a rhythmically manner with the mesmerizing light effects and the enchanting music. everything was so magical. Then there was the burst of fireballs into the sky accompanied by loud base n drumming, it was stunning and we can actually feel the heat 10 meters away! it was just one of the more amazing stuff i've seen lately in my boring army years. haha so i must admit i did quite enjoy this singapore tourist attraction and would actually recommend this to others =)


53 days left! =)

Thursday, November 26, 2009

child 44

Its been far too long already since i last blogged. I guess its much less a hassle to just post a "phrase" comment on facebook to express one's feeling.

Been to SMU together with sherwin and che on the 14 of nov for matriculation to smu. Oh suddenly remembered, the previous night was our platoon's cohesion at ECP, and after that was a crazy party night at rebel. Well, I have gone to SMU with a heart of just u know, look around and be critical, idea of matriculating to the school never came across my mind.

No doubt its a good course for my tertiary education, but a part of me seems to be waiting for a better offer. Greed. Up till now, I still can't picture myself as a smu student, worse, a university student. NS made me stupid-er after all. Anyway, I decided to matriculate that day, thought i needed some new excitement and inject new elements into my life. Funny thing was, after been through all the tedious processes of registering, i left without paying the administrative $200. But i made my student card and they called to say its ready for collection! haha. fate is just too good at its magic. after contemplating for so long, when i finally made the decision, i maynt have matriculated at all! haha who knows? i might even end up going overseas to study? haha we shall see...

"child 44" by tom rob smith, story set in russia be4 world war 2. Borrowed this book on Wednesday be4 booking in. Thought i need to at least TRY catch up a weeny bit since my visit to the bookstore with sherwin. Worried that my english has gotten even 'rustier' since my cui times in jc, wrong, sec school. miss tan always says, grotesque grammatical errors could result in difficulties in expressing ideas, and queer ideas invariably meant bad essays. If I don't fix my english soon, my grades will suffer in future inevitably too.

Sadly, the book proved to be too mind boggling for me. each time i open the book, my eyes just do the opposite, blinking more often then they should, and finally shutting without much prior warning. HAIZ. i will finish by this ATT C! tsk. Every time i use or say tsk, haha i think of algene! haha...

Been trying to build up my body, wasnt really consistent n determined, so i cant ask too much for the results either... my evil friend say ya have wat, u already have 4 pac. 2 on de chest, 1 on the tummy and roy "pac" ( same pronounciation as roy pek) -.-

this mounting has been at the x ray check mostly, with sherwin, seems to be still having lots of topic for us to discuss, debate and argue about. And sat, sun, for the third consecutive week, we had our mini version of dont forget the lyrics(chinese) painstakingly organised by sherwin. Was rather enjoyable, though jx n i ALWAYS lose. haha thank you sherwin! u made our mounting days more interesting n erm erm easier to pass! haha

well, as usual, bravo n qrf sorta argued again for strength again. nicholas handled it his way, as usual. I feel that as a friend i should nt put him in a difficult position. so i duno wats the other side thinking, maybe exact opposite, as a friend, u should give more privileges? Its difficult to not judge anyone here: because its our nature to judge the people around us.

If they ignore our wishes, we believe that they are disrespectful.

If they don't watch their men, we conclude that they are unfit leaders.

If we catch them cheating, we assume we know their reasons.

But what happens when we stop for a moment to judge our own life? It can be painful to step back and see what we have been doing.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

random afternoon dream

Wanted to blog this because it is totally random.

Location: Xiao Gu hse at hougang.

Sherwin is suppose to go walk a dog(happens to be my neighbour's husky) by instruction of a villian in trublood.

A Girl( cant rmb who) n I were discussing about the villian as we walk down. Right this moment, mario came alone in his classic whole body levi n a backpack with his newly earned driving liscence. But the face is totally not his! hahaha an alien photo id...

Anw later on, my xiao gu had a dinner party at the void deck. then all my relatives came. ya den my da gu was wearing a bareback seeming hot red dress. yup. den de dog came back without sherwin, jumping onto me, licking me. yup. thats that. totally random.

sorry ppl to bore u! hahaha

- your only -

  • the undecisivethe soft hearted victim of time going round but not getting anywhere Since Duno when goal-less life NOT SUITABLE FOR YOUNG Nothing one

my wants

  • My fated one
  • A BIG expensive sponsored holiday
  • Driving license - followed by a car
  • Sunglass, belt,
  • MORE MUSCLES MUAHAHAHA

Me

  • 19 yo
  • 20 oct 1989
  • Straight
  • Buddhist
  • Montfortian - Cat Hightian - VJcian - AJcian - Navy

remembered

notices